"so much it hurts..."

Our little family has gone through a few changes in the last couple of months. A few of them I will mention, a few of them I won't. But overall, life is good and I have sooo much to be happy about and grateful for. It really has been somewhat of a whirlwind for the Barkers over the last couple of months. One thing: I'm sitting here, writing this post with a handsome human child on my lap. That's pretty life-altering and absolutely wonderful! A second thing: I am writing this while sitting in my old childhood room. The same room that I shared with my three sisters. The same room in which we had ice wars, slept on bunk beds, jump roped with a crocheted chain of yarn, and took our Sunday naps to Stan Getz.

Our little baby boy was born back in May. He is now a whopping 3 months old---packing on the pounds and smiling and giggling as though it was the only thing we were made to do here on earth. It honestly melts my heart every time I go to grab him from the crib in the monring and he flashes me that big gummy grin. But flashing back 3 months ago to when this little dude first entered our lives, I have to say it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I would do almost anything to be able to relive it. Honestly. Shawn was an incredible coach. I truly don't think I could have done it pain medication-free without him. He helped me focus when I couldn't breathe anymore. He gave me encouragement when I didn't think I could continue on. He patiently sat with me for hours and let me squeeze his hand during every single contraction. He was absolutely amazing. He cried with me as we met our incredible son for the first time.

I was lucky enough to have received the latest Coldplay album a couple of weeks before Mr. Miles was born. There was a song on there that immediately sunk into my heart. The name of the song is, "Ink." That was the song that kept playing through my head over and over as the contractions came...wave after wave for hours. I thought of my love for our sweet son that was coming to our family. I thought of my love for my husband as I looked into his eyes during each contraction. I felt so much love through the entire journey. And even still, as I hear that song, I tear up and sometimes even have a little cry as I remember this intense love that I have for these dear boys.

As also mentioned---we moved! This was our first big move as a family and I felt the same way during packing as I do every time I move: I never want to move ever again. But we made it safe and sound and couldn't have done it without Shawn's mom (cleaning woman extrordinare & dear mother who takes care of everyone) and my dad (tetris master that got all of our junk into the shipping containers).

With a few of the changes and things going on, I've had a lot of time to think of what makes me happy. I also look back on what I have posted in the past and I really want to return to the reason I posted. Yes, I know now that I live here near my mom again and this was initially to record my experiences that we often laughed about and to keep us closely connected. But I take a lot of pleasure for laughing at life. I need to laugh at life. So I'm going to keep laughing and do a better job of noting when I do so I have a reminder of why I'm so happy. Because life is good. Hard, but really good.